Public Opinion sets the scene for the ensuing drama: Eurydice is dissatisfied. Her husband, Orpheus, is obsessed with music, and she wishes to have a more attentive admirer. In fact, she has already taken a new lover, the shepherd Aristaeus (the mortal disguise of the god Pluto, ruler of the Underworld). When she is mortally wounded, Pluto reveals himself, and the two go happily off to the Underworld. Orpheus is pleased with the outcome. Unfortunately for him, Public Opinion declares that decency requires the reluctant Orpheus to retrieve his wife.

https://www.britannica.com/topic/Orpheus-in-the-Underworld

THE STORY ABOVE DESERVES A SERIOUS UPDATE:

PLUTO IS THE CHIEF MASTER OF HELL… THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION IS A STRANGE BEAST, LIKE A JELLYFISH THAT BOBBLES ALONG AT THE MERCY OF CURRENTS AND TIDAL WAVES… THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION HAS VOTED TRUMP/ORPHEUS AS THE EMPEROR OF THE WORLD, FOLLOWING A LESS THAN SATISFACTORY SELECTION OFFER OF CLOWNS…

IN THIS ANCIENT [REVISED] STORY, ORPHEUS/TRUMP IS MARRIED TO BIBI/EURYDICE… EURYDICE ALWAYS WANTS MORE FUQUE FROM ORPHEUS WHO IS TOO BUSY PLAYING WAR WITH HIMSELF, DISGUISED AS A FELLOW/JESTER, NOT VISITING EPSTEIN/ISLAND, IN ORDER TO GET THE PEACE PRIZE DANGLING FROM "NORWAY" [SWEDEN]… HIS MAIN TOY IS AN OILY LEGO SET.

THE STORY NATURALLY TWISTS WHEN BIBI FALLS IN LOVE [AGAIN] WITH ZIONUS WHO PROMISES HER THE TEMPTING PRIZE OF GREATER ISRAEL, EVEN THE ENTIRE WORLD, AFTER SOME MORAL CONQUEST…

PLUTO [WHO THUS HAS BEEN DECEITFULLY DISGUISED AS ZIONUS] TEASES ORPHEUS/TRUMP ABOUT BIBI’S UNFAITHFULNESS AND OFFERS SOME POISONOUS IRANIAN WAR TO ORPHEUS/TRUMP SO HE CAN KILL ZIONUS… IT’S A TRICK….

BUT TRUMP/ORPHEUS, WHILE KILLING HER, UNFORTUNATELY WITH THE IRANIAN MISSILES, TELLS BIBI/EURYDICE THAT HE STILL LOVES HER AS BIBI/NETANYAHU… 

BIBI DISMISSES TRUMP’S ORDER TO HAVE A REAL CEASEFIRE AND RUNS AWAY WITH ZIONUS/PLUTO TO HELL IN LEBANON….

WITH ANTISEMITISM FLYING A MASSIVE FLAG, ENTERS PUBLIC OPINION AGAIN TO CONVINCE [AHAHAH] TRUMP/ORPHEUS TO GO AND RESCUE BIBI/EURYDICE FROM HELL… AND TO STOP THE INVASION BY DIVING AMONGST THE MINES IN THE HORMUZ STRAIT…

PLUTO/ZIONUS HAS A BIG NASTY DOG [WITH THREE HEADS CALLED I.D.F. — AKA ISRAHELL DEFENCE FORCES: NAVY, INFANTRY, AIRFORCE] GUARDING THE ENTRANCE TO HELL [JERUSALEM], TO PREVENT UNWELCOME GUESTS TO ENTER AND MAKE SURE LOVELY PRISONERS/PALESTINIANS DO NOT ESCAPE ALIVE…

SO TRUMP/ORPHEUS WANTS TO GET HIS LOVE/BIBI/EURYDICE BACK WITH A POCKET FULL OF CASH AND A FEW MORE BOMBS…. MAKES SENSE SO FAR?… TRUMP/ORPHEUS WANTS THE HELP OF SOME OTHER PEOPLE BUT THEY REFUSE POLITELY, CLAIMING THEY'VE RUN OUT OF GAS... THE DOWN-UNDER DUDE IS HALF-HEARTED...

SO, WILLING TO ESCAPE FROM THE GHOST OF EPSTEIN/ISLAND, TRUMP/ORPHEUS JUMPS IN TO RESCUE BIBI/EURYDICE FROM THE CLUTCHES OF PLUTO… AND TRIES TO ESCAPE… YOOHOO !

ALL IS WELL ON THE WAY OUT OF HELL, UNTIL JUPITER [GOD/JESUS/ZEUS DISGUISED AS ABRAHAM] WHO HAS ALSO BEEN IN LOVE WITH BIBI/ISRAEL/EURYDICE FOR MORE THAN 4,000 YEARS, TELLS TRUMP/ORPHEUS NOT TO LOOK BACK AT HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE, AS THEY GET OUT… IT’S A TRICK…

ALAS! TRUMP/ORPHEUS IS OF COURSE TEMPTED TO LOOKS BACK, AS BIBI IS DRAGGING HER FEET — AND BIBI/EURYDICE INSTANTLY VANISHES IN THE DARK HOLE OF HELL TO REJOIN ZIONUS/PLUTO… HER FAVORITE CONQUERING LOVE… TRUMP/ORPHEUS COULD NOT CARE LESS....

“ALL IS WELL” — SAYS THE PUBLIC OPINION — “IN THE BEST OF THE BEST WORLDS” AS A LAST CANCAN DANCE MAKES A CONCERT OF HISTORIANS BLUSH AT SEEING THE EMPEROR TRUMP/ORPHEUS COMPLETELY NAKED…

NONPLUSSED, THE EMPEROR GOES BACK TO HIS BEST LOVE: DRIBBLING BEAUTIFUL NONSENSE ON X…

AND THE MAD WORLD IS SAVED.… FOR NOW.

MORAL OF THE STORY: HAVE A GOOD LAUGH BEFORE THEY BLOW UP THE PLANET...

         JULES OFFENBACH

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