Wrongly, I have been sometimes of the counsel that Bruce Petty's Australia — and How it Works (seen here as the 1976 edition — first published 1967) should be a compulsory reading for migrants and essential curriculum for school children, age 11 and over. It's a master work of complex distillations of the simplistic ideals that underpins Australian flavours, unicycles and political machinations. 

But again, it would not be a good idea.

A definitive subversive analysis of how things really are cannot become mainstream. The reflected image in the mirror would be too painful, too soon: slobs, yobbos, bogans, politicians, councillors, all of us stark naked in the reflection. We need to adjust in small doses. We still need the moronic perfumes to make us feel nicely dozy. Petty's work is like a storm that blow all these comfortable fart smells away.

The boring history of Australia still has to be taught by the main stream waspish educational pipe, with flag waving when a royal comes pass every November.

In fact, Petty's masterwork needs to be read by rebellious kids, under doonas with LED lights, it needs to be read in the slave kitchen migrant workers or by 7/11 staff, it needs to be distributed in the corridors of intelligent staffers to dumb politicians and all its pages need to be flicked through in the school dunnies — to be fully appreciated. 

So today we've been told that Australia has passed the 24 million milestone — barely the population of some of the most populous cities in the world. But the question is not of quantity but of quality. 

To my observation, this country's political class has been pedalling their unicycles backwards for some time. The level of intellect has dropped a few notches (though it was not very high beforehand) and although most of us eat far less "Pie & Sauce in Beer" directly from the tin-can, it's not a reflection of great intellectual development but of the proliferation of confrontational commercial TV around some kitchen fights — not to mention some dreadful sirupy Kitchen Cabinets. 

Even then back in Petty's 1967, when the population was barely 11 millions, the trends of today were there — apart from recent changes to brand names (say BOAC now British) and those awful tarrifs having been replaced by those awful TTPs.

Sport is still about one's dedication to give one's cartilage to the country... Drugs have improve the length of this dedication.

And "the transition from the family sing-song around the piano to 6 murders a might... has been taken lying down". This statement about the "human sacrifice" to the god of television (including the murderous news), has been replaced by "no-one is talking to anyone else", as the thumb crunching iPhone has liberated us from the TV, that since Petty's 1967 had become supersized, flatter and in 3D, while the distributed content went from crap to worse... The beauty of the iPhone is that one can go anywhere with it. It's being able to carry one's TV, communication systems, entertainment, friends and lounge on the buses, the trains, in the street, ANYWHERE, even to the theatre — in one small tablet...

So today we need to reflect on what make us Aussies... History? With the introduction of the wogs, garlic has become a strong Australian flavour. We may need a "Patriotic Concert" to counteract this invasion. A concert with Professor Weston's Dogs, an exhibition of Professor Will Powell, trick bicyclist, and a good dose of Scott's Emulsion (1892 patent) to makes us loose weight.

Have a great 24 millionth day.