smeg ups do happen...

From the SMH

LEGAL counsel Martin Bennett has a short message for those who allow themselves to attack reputations over the internet, imagining they are safe under the cloak of anonymity. ''You can be hunted down and found,'' he said yesterday.

Mr Bennett has done just that for a Perth client, winning $30,000 in damages and costs, an apology, and undertakings from a Colac man that he won't post any more defamatory comments.

The hunt for the man's true identity proved the stuff of private detective novels updated into the age of blogs.

It is, Mr Bennett said, one of a very few such actions in Australia against the author of anonymous postings on an internet forum. He predicts it is the tip of a legal iceberg.

''There has been an increasing proliferation of internet chat sites where people feel free to hide their identities and make defamatory comments about companies and their executives and directors,'' he said in a statement released after the case in the Supreme Court of Western Australia was resolved.

The action against Graeme Gladman began after highly uncomplimentary comments appeared last November under pseudonyms on the HotCopper website, a stockmarket forum.

-----------------

Here, although we try to hide behind some loose witty picket fences, our defence in our opinionated pieces rely on the iron bars of irony and we mostly bother about ideologies, politicians, crooks, crocks and opinions that are unsustainable — like that of the flat earth theorists — although some have a good sense of humour...

The UK's online heritage could be lost forever if the government does not grant a "right to archive", a group of leading libraries has said.

The British Library, along with other institutions, has been archiving UK websites since 2004 but has only been able to cover 6,000 of an estimated 8m.

Currently, it must ask permission from website owners before archiving them.

The group, which has just made its UK Web Archive available to the public, warned of "a digital black hole".

"We've got the know-how but we need the rules to say we don't need to ask permission," said a spokesman for the British Library.

"We're archiving for the nation rather than commercial gain."

--------------------

Hopefully, this site is still archived in the National Library of Australia in perpetuity...

British Online Copyright Laws Draw Debates By NICK BILTON

An article published on Thursday in, The Guardian, discusses a debate taking place in the British Parliament around a new “digital economy bill.”

One amendment in particular is stirring a lot of discussion about its impact on content online. The Guardian writes:

The new proposal – which was passed in the House of Lords by 165 votes to 140 – gives a high court judge the right to issue an injunction against a Web site accused of hosting a “substantial” amount of copyright infringing material, potentially forcing the entire site offline.

Critics say the major problem with this amendment is that a judge could  shut down a Web site  because of copyright infringement, even if the site’s manager didn’t put the content online.

I tend to pay attention to things that don't matter... It's annoying. It's ridiculous... But I do too much, all between the serious cosmic nuke science to watching mindless football biffo on the box... I have watched more comedies on TV than Bart Simpson had wedgies and, having survived several days of uninterrupted cartoons in Yourpean movie theatres, on a soggy lollypop, one can devalue the pigeon loft that is anatomically called brains. But then something sticks.

For example, who can forget the fabulous episode of Homer Simpson eating potato chips in space to the music of "The Blue Danube" by Strauss?? "pompompompom crunch crunch tadatada crunch crunch tadatada..." sensational drivel... But then who can forget the adventures of Oli(f-v)er and Lisa (another Lisa???) in Green Acres, where Lisa takes Oliver on a silver service picnic. Of course there is no food because "there was no room left, in the basket" after having packed up all the candles, the plates, the silver spoons and the lace table cloth... and the little transistor radio "for romantic music"... Suddenly, the announcer encourages people to eat "potato chips" to the tune of, oh yes, you've guesses it: "The Blue Danube"... "Pompompompom crunch crunch tadatada crunch crunch tadatada..."... Sounds to which Oliver drooling for a hamburger thinks Lisa is secretly eating sumpthin' as he can hear the crunch crunch... Of course, Lisa tells him "it's on the radio..."

All dead pan delivery... alla Buster Keaton, made funnier still by having been "copied?" by Homer's creators.

Meanwhile on Bewitched a certain Mr "Charlie Harper" appears briefly... names of course that have another serving on "Two and a Half Men"...

I tend to pay attention to things that don't matter... It's annoying. It's ridiculous... And I forget my own name sometimes...

See toon and story at top...

 

 

Computer program recognises online sarcasm

Researchers have developed a computer program capable of identifying online sarcasm, although it is a long way from becoming a prosthetic for people with poor social skills.

Oren Tsur, a computer scientist at The Hebrew University in Jerusalem is discussing his work at a meeting of the Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence in Washington, D.C. this week.

Sarcasm is a useful way to blunt the impact of criticism but people can often miss it when it's delivered online, where there are no contextual hints or social cues.

To cut through the confusion, Tsur and colleagues developed a computer program that can identify sarcasm in online communities with an accuracy rate of about 80%.

While there is still a long way to go before computers will be able to understand all the subtleties of humour, the new work might, among other things, help companies sort through comments about their products to find out what customers really think.

-----------------------

Gus: where else but at a zionist university can someone dissect sarcasm and create a twisted-gnarling-bullshit detector that is at least 80 per cent accurate... According to a reader of the SMH today (29/05/10), all the worthwhile inventions in the world were create by the Jews — including the atomic bomb, of course... So there. Keep snarling. See toon at top...

A leading historian who wrote anonymous reviews on the Amazon website praising his own work and criticising rivals is to pay libel damages and costs.

Orlando Figes, a professor at London's Birkbeck College, was sued by fellow historians Dr Rachel Polonsky and Professor Robert Service.

Prof Figes, 50, has been on sick leave since the scandal broke.

After initially denying responsibility for the reviews, he admitted writing them in a statement issued on 23 April.

As part of the settlement, Prof Figes has now circulated an apology and retraction in which he accepts that his initial denial of responsibility for the reviews was false.

According to a detailed account of the row in the Times Literary Supplement (TLS), the controversy began when Rachel Polonsky - a writer and Russian expert - discovered a hostile review of her recently-published book on Amazon.

The comments posted online said her work was "hard to follow". Others described a book by Robert Service as "awful".

Prof Figes is an award-winning author known for his works about Russia, including Natasha's Dance: A Cultural History Of Russia and The Whisperers: Private Life In Stalin's Russia.

The true identity of the reviewer came to light after Dr Polonsky discovered that the reviewer shared the same home address as Prof Figes, said the TLS.

'Wholehearted apology'

Initially, when confronted by the allegations of his involvement, Prof Figes' instructed his lawyer to threaten legal action.

Prof Figes then stated that his wife, a leading human rights lawyer, had written the comments.

The reviewer who used the online moniker, "orlando-birkbeck", had reportedly praised a book by Prof Figes as "fascinating".

Prof Figes later accepted responsibility for the reviews and apologised "wholeheartedly" for making "foolish errors".

 

Laugh Lines, R.I.P. (The NYT)

A note to readers: This post is the last for the Laugh Lines blog, started three years ago as a place for amusing stuff on the Web, curated to the sensibilities of Times readers. The blog’s end is a function of the reality of limited resources in a medium where any number of worthy experiments are possible, but all can’t be sustained.

Rest assured, our regular, outside feed of editorial cartoons will remain available via links on The New York Times home page and the Week in Review section front. Thanks to our loyal readers and contributors, and regrets. – The editors

-----------------------

What a shock!...  The Laugh Lines is the first and necessary pitstop for any cartoonists who takes themselves seriously... I've already got withdrawal symtoms already.

 

More than a third of the nation's dogs are overweight, veterinary charity PDSA warned today.

An assessment of almost 30,000 dogs across the UK over the past four years revealed the country's obesity epidemic is not confined to humans, with 35% of canines carrying too many pounds.

The figure is an increase on 21% recorded four years ago and, if the trend continues, almost half of all dogs could be overweight by 2013 - putting them at risk of dying early, PDSA said.

While many owners appear to view a podgy pet as cute and cuddly, the charity warns obesity poses a threat to the animals' health and lifespan.

Senior veterinary surgeon Sean Wensley said: "Overweight pets are less mobile, less willing to play and more likely to develop a number of serious health conditions.

"Ultimately, owners control their pet's diet and exercise. The good news is it's never too late to achieve positive change with their veterinary practice."

------------------

Too many pounds on the pooches, except on the mongrels from the pounds...

 

Brazilian election gag no laughing matter for comics

Protests planned over ban on broadcasters making fun of candidates in three months before presidential vote

Make no joke about it, Brazil's presidential election is a serious affair. Brazilian TV and radio broadcasters are legally forbidden from making fun of candidates ahead of October's vote.

With the first wave of on-air political ads starting today, Brazil's comedians and satirists are planning to fight for their right to ridicule, with protests planned in Rio de Janeiro and other cities on Sunday.

They say the anti-joking law – which prohibits ridiculing candidates in the three months before elections – is a draconian relic of Brazil's dictatorship that threatens free speech. Proponents say the restrictions keep candidates from being portrayed unfairly and encourage candour.

"Do you know of any other democracy in the world with rules like this?" said Marcelo Tas, the host of a weekly TV comedy show that skewers politicians and celebrities alike. "If you want to find a bigger joke, you would have to look to Monty Python."

Breaching the law is punishable by fines up to £72,000 and a suspension of a broadcaster's licence. Only a few fines have been handed out, but Tas and others say that has been sufficient to cause TV and radio stations to self-censor their material during elections.

------------------

Blimey!

Comedians protest ban on election satire

 

Brazilian humorists and their supporters have marched in protest of a law that prohibits them from satirising political candidates during the country's presidential campaign.

Under the slogan "Humor without censorship", about 300 people took part in the march on Copacabana beach.

The protest was organised by comics and artists to draw attention to the law prohibiting radio and television stations from programming that "degrades or ridicules" candidates or political parties.

They have circulated a petition demanding the superior electoral tribunal change the law.

"Censorship is a threat to democracy. Look at the example of Venezuela," Danilo Gentili, director of a show called Custe o Que Custar (Cost what it costs), told the Folha de Sao Paulo newspaper.

------------------

Jon Stewart, the arch-liberal US news satirist, is planning a "Rally to Restore Sanity" in Washington next month to draw voters to an anti-extremism demonstration sold on witty irony. He's calling it the Million Moderate March.

His tongue may be in his cheek but it doesn't muffle the star TV host's rallying cry to an exasperated mainstream just days before the midterm elections in November.

Sent up as "a few hours of fun" but in reality a serious riposte to the rightwing Tea Party movement now stealing the spotlight, Stewart promised to supply signs declaring "I Disagree With You, But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler" and other deadpan slogans.

The day after he announced the rally on his political satire programme, The Daily Show, mainstream news channels were calling the Washington DC police to check it wasn't a hoax.

They were told Stewart had, indeed, applied for permits for a public gathering on 30 October.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/sep/19/jon-stewart-daily-show-rally

see toon at top...

A Brazilian clown has had the last laugh by winning a seat in Congress with more votes than any other candidate in Sunday's elections.

Tiririca, or Francisco Oliveira Silva to give him his real name, was elected as a federal deputy for Sao Paulo with more than 1.3 million votes.

Tiririca, or "Grumpy", had slogans such as: "It can't get any worse."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-11465127

-------------------------

Here, in Aussieland, don't we know about clowns in parliament!... read two comments up above this one — about comics and cartoonists being censured in Brazil... See toon at top...

From the SMH (11/7/11)

 

Naming a cat

Recent contributions to Column 8 relating to the provision of names for cats, and their failure to acknowledge them, lacked both depth and perception.

This needs to be remedied. T.S. Eliot in Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats rightly points out that the naming of cats is a difficult matter; it's not just one of your holiday games.

He goes on to explain that a cat must have three different names. There is the name for everyday use, then a name that is particular, peculiar and dignified and thirdly, a name that no human research can elicit, but one only the cat knows.

Further, from a lifetime of experience in playing host to a succession of cats I can state categorically and beyond any doubt, that a cat which is provided with properly heated luxury accommodation, abundant supplies of gourmet food, and a sufficiently attentive staff will frequently come when its name is called, or at the very least open one eye and even raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

So there, that settles that.

Ian Walters Sydney

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/letters/robust-debate-helps-forge-the-right-path-20110710-1h8xt.html#ixzz1RkSV6sYh

------------------------------

The writer was doing fine till he wrote:

"Further, from a lifetime of experience in playing host to a succession of cats I can state categorically and beyond any doubt, that a cat which is provided with properly heated luxury accommodation, abundant supplies of gourmet food, and a sufficiently attentive staff will frequently come when its name is called, or at the very least open one eye and even raise an inquisitive eyebrow.

So there, that settles that."

Well, claiming to have a lifetime experience with cats, he should know THAT CATS DO NOT HAVE EYEBROWS per se... This is a very peculiar evolutionary trait to this branch of animals...

I suspect that all his cats were dogs in disguise...

See toon at top...

Has former prime minister Kevin Rudd's political career gone to the dogs - and cats - since being ousted by Julia Gillard? It might appear so if this video, which Rudd has posted on his Facebook page, is anything to go by. In it he tries to encourage his pets – cat Jasper and dog Abby – to try drinking a cup of tea.

The video is a bid to boost his chances of having his own blend of tea released by Twinings and raise money for charity. 'Kev's Avo Tea' is described on the Twinings website as a blend of "slightly smoky Russian Caravan with the full bodied Irish Breakfast and then added the light Ceylon Orange Pekoe".

"What do you think Jasper, good stuff?"

Read more: http://www.thefirstpost.co.uk/82381,life,video,ex-oz-pm-kevin-rudd-starts-own-tea-party-twinings-australia#ixzz1TfrRpk8C

 

 

see toon at top

More Military Dogs Show Signs of Combat Stress

By JAMES DAO

SAN ANTONIO — The call came into the behavior specialists here from a doctor in Afghanistan. His patient had just been through a firefight and now was cowering under a cot, refusing to come out.

Apparently even the chew toys hadn’t worked.

Post-traumatic stress disorder, thought Dr. Walter F. Burghardt Jr., chief of behavioral medicine at the Daniel E. Holland Military Working Dog Hospital at Lackland Air Force Base. Specifically, canine PTSD.

If anyone needed evidence of the frontline role played by dogs in war these days, here is the latest: the four-legged, wet-nosed troops used to sniff out mines, track down enemy fighters and clear buildings are struggling with the mental strains of combat nearly as much as their human counterparts.

By some estimates, more than 5 percent of the approximately 650 military dogs deployed by American combat forces are coming down with canine PTSD. Of those, about half are likely to be retired from service, Dr. Burghardt said.

Though veterinarians have long diagnosed behavioral problems in animals, the concept of canine PTSD is only about 18 months old, having come into vogue among military veterinarians who have been seeing patterns of troubling behavior among dogs exposed to explosions, gunfire and other combat-related violence in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Like humans with the analogous disorder, different dogs show different symptoms. Some become hyper-vigilant. Others avoid buildings or work areas that they had previously been comfortable in. Some undergo sharp changes in temperament, becoming unusually aggressive with their handlers, or clingy and timid. Most crucially, many stop doing the tasks they were trained to perform.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/02/us/more-military-dogs-show-signs-of-combat-stress.html?_r=1&hp=&pagewanted=print

 

In Africa I had a dog that had been run over by a car when a young pup and got a stiff leg that was never fixed. "Turco" hopped along on three paws with its left front leg sticking out... Of all things he was afraid of thunder... In summer at the start of the usual afternoon storms, he would find refuge under an old stair case that went nowhere... No-one could get him out of there... He was like paralysed..., sulking, sobbing...

 

Garry Trudeau's cartoon is suspended or moved from comic section for satirising Texan rules

LAST UPDATED AT 13:37 ON Mon 12 Mar 2012

AMERICA'S fractious debate about abortion has now extended into the realm of cartoons. A host of US newspapers have refused to carry Garry Trudeau's long-running Doonesbury strip this week because it attacks Republican state laws aimed at limiting the procedure.

Trudeau tackles a Texas law which requires women who want abortions to undergo an ultrasound scan which will show them their unborn child in the hope that they will reconsider their decision.

In the controversial strip a woman turning up at a clinic is directed to the 'shaming room' where a state legislator accuses her of being a 'slut' for having used contraceptives before. The woman is later told by a nurse: "The male Republicans who run Texas require that all abortion seekers be examined with a 10-inch shaming wand."

The Guardian, which carries the strip and will run it uncensored this week, reports that several US newspapers including the Kansas City Star have refused to carry the storyline, and will instead use a replacement strip provided by Universal Uclick, the syndication agency which handles Doonesbury.

Read more: http://www.theweek.co.uk/media/us-election-2012/45811/doonesbury-cartoon-dropped-tackling-texas-abortion-law#ixzz1qXm5cRs9

 

see toon at top...

 

Anthony Ackroyd

 

WHERE ARE AUSTRALIA'S contemporary artist-activists? Throughout our history certain Australian performers and writers have put their art where their beliefs are but today their number seems few.

Back in 1972, Gough Whitlam's famous ''It's Time'' campaign ad featured a bevy of celebs including a youthful Bert Newton sporting killer sideburns and a coolly grooving, perhaps chemically altered, Jack Thompson.
...
In my own field of comedy where being outspoken is part of the job description the number of Australian comics who confront audiences with material on urgent social issues is low. 
Most of our comedians seem more interested in being part of the machine than attacking it, acting out well-paid but predictable roles as TV hosts and radio presenters rather than creating challenging commentary about inconvenient truths.
We need a call to artistic arms. When the earth is burning there must be fiddlers who are prepared to produce strains that do not just divert and reassure but instead awaken and inspire.
Take a look around, creative people.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/catholic-brand-appears-pells-priority-20130118-2cyj0.html#ixzz2IMxxdvMA
---------------------------

Yes Anthony, we don't all have the gift of the gab like you have and some of us need pens, pencils and mouses to express inconvenient truths... We've joined the internet, rather than go on stage where we cannot say two words without fluffing the lines... Not only that, being senile, we unvariably forget what we're talking about... unlike say an Alan Jones who does not know what he's talking about but will carry on regardless with his unstoppable motor mouth. At least on a computer screen, we can read back and re-evaluate the crap we're writing. Some of us are too old to stand all day in the mud waiting for a Frank Zappa concert... Some of us were born way before god-Elvis was and when Hitler was a boogeyman.

But the next good question is asked by Alecia Simmons: Why oh why, Gen Y, are you so nauseatingly conservative?

The Answer is quite nauseatingly simple:  Narcissistic individualism.

This caper has grown far bigger than the sense of social responsibility, in the "younger" generations...
We, the old folks, of course are responsible, because from the time they were toddlers we've told them that they were more important than anything else in the world without placing a relative value on it. They believed us and have not stopped looking in the mirror ever since, while making our life a misery by their demands to which we always caved in to. We fought their wars and they became stock-brokers.

The little brat used some Crayolas to deface our lounge walls and we cried with joy because the little shit was being creative... Did we channel this creativity with educational streaks that would have turned the angel into the next Michelangelo? Noooooo... We think that Michelangelo is old hat and young turd has so much more creativity to offer that he soon became a fully fledge selfish psycho who now only communicates via a cell phone twits.

Most comics on stage these days, try hard not to hurt the political sensibilities... It could cut their dwindling audience in half. If you bag the Libs (conservatives), you won't make it anywhere these days, not even on the ABC, and if you bag Labor you'll be considered a capitalist turncoat like Steve. So most of the present stand-up comedy revolves about the comic's own navel, including how they discovered they were gay... 

Does not rattle the revolutionary spirit, does it?...

See toon at top...
ps: I forgot to mention one thing... There is not much money in fighting for social justice onto the barricade... One needs to become a fanatic with impossible ideals, and these days we'd be soon compared with Al Qaeda for being "extremists"... There is far more cash to be made for being an old ill-informed reactionary fart with a generous streak, like Jones... 
Even most of the graffiti artists are struck with the narcissistic individualism bug... They don't care about the "social" spirit, only about their own nasty un-artistic little ugly tags...

 

Vandals who daub graffiti onto trains are costing German national rail provider Deutsche Bahn a lot of money, but now the company has found a new way to fight back -- drones.

 

 

"We must find new ways to fight graffiti," the company's security chief Gerd Neubeck told the paper. In 2012 alone, trains were defaced some 14,000 times, costing Deutsche Bahn some €7.6 million ($9.8 million), he said.

The new drone, outfitted with an infrared camera and the company's red and white logo, will use GPS to document the times and places where vandals are observed, making it easier to prosecute offenders. Flying at an altitude of some 150 meters (492 feet), it will be able to keep watch for more than 80 minutes at a time, quietly whizzing through the sky at up to 54 kilometers (33 miles) per hour. It can also be put on autopilot function for stretches as long as 40 kilometers, the paper said.

These capabilities will allow Deutsche Bahn to observe large areas in a short amount of time, a company spokesman said. Concerns about data protection, however, mean that the drone will initially be used only on company-owned property.

 

http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/deutsche-bahn-gets-drone-to-stop-train-graffiti-in-germany-a-902166.html

 

One of Enoch Powell's most famous quips was prompted by an encounter with the resident House of Commons barber: a notoriously chatty character, who enjoyed treating captive clients to his views on politics and the state of the world. When Powell went in for a trim, the barber asked the standard question: "How should I cut your hair, Sir?" "In silence," was Powell's instant riposte.

Even Powell's political enemies have usually admitted, a bit grudgingly, that this was a rather good joke. But what they haven't realised is that it has a history going back more than 2,000 years. Almost exactly the same gag features in a surviving Roman joke book: the Philogelos (orLaughter Lover), a collection of wisecracks probably compiled in the fourth or fifth century AD. As with most such collections, some of the jokes included were already decidedly old by the time they were anthologised. In fact, we can trace the "chatty barber" gag back to Archelaus, a fifth-century BC king of Macedon. The "how should I cut your hair?" question was standard even then. And Archelaus is supposed to have replied to his own garrulous barber, "In silence."

Presumably part of the fun for Powell (who was a better classicist than politician) was that he knew exactly how ancient the joke was. Whereas others admired what they believed to be his spontaneous quip, he must have been taking pleasure in the secret knowledge that he was merely repeating the age-old gag of an ancient Macedonian king, and one that may already have been prompting more groans than giggles when it was featured in the Roman Philogelos.

That joke book is one of the most intriguing survivals from the classical world. Containing some 260 short gags, written in Greek (we shouldn't forget that the Roman empire was effectively a bilingual culture, using both Latin and Greek), it has come down to us in various, slightly different versions, painstakingly copied out by medieval monks – who no doubt got more fun out of this than out of some of the classical texts they were made to transcribe. We have no real idea of who originally compiled it, still less why they did so. One ancient encyclopedia seems to suggest that it was the kind of book that you would take to the barber's shop (a well-known haunt in the Roman world of jokesters and gossips, never mind garrulous hair-cutters). Modern explanations have ranged from seeing it as an aide-memoire for a Roman standup comic to imagining it as a rudimentary database for some ancient theorist of jokes and laughter. (Sadly, there is no very reliable English translation in print, but Dan Crompton's A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum gives a fair idea of the flavour, as does an online version by William Berg.)

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jun/28/history-laughter-roman-jokes-mary-beard