The brain of cockroaches could be (it is possible according to Gus’ studies of frightened specimen in his kitchen) superior to ours, thus far less complicated. It seems that roaches don’t wish to destroy each other, nor try to save each other from their demons or from one another’s failings. They don’t have an interest in taking over the world though they might do it while crawling everywhere on it, nor do they wish to destroy the planet. It seems the perfect attitude to life. We don’t like cockroaches.

Humans, us, we always try to tell others how to run their life while not knowing about our own faulty default position. We do this with social coercions, bombs and boots, plus various psychological illusions, based on lies, fairy tales and religious hocus-pocus.

We tend to complicate things. A bit.

So I will be satirical — let’s say even unfortunately obligatorily sarcastic — while dealing with Michael Brown’s simplistic writings — Michael being a godly spruiking American on the Christian Post who holds a Ph.D. in near Eastern Languages and Literatures from New York University (whatever this means, considering he might know less than a happy cockroach about life) and has served as a professor at a number of universities. A professor of what? Salvationing… Blah.

Yes, Brown has written 25 books, which is two less than Gus — though Gus has remained unpublished for being too godlessly rabid and not salvationing comforting. As well, moustachioed smiling Michael hosts one nationally syndicated daily talk radio show (which is one more than Gus ever did (there is hope for some Leonisky pollution of the airwaves), though I listen to a few radio-journos spruiking scientific stuff). Let’s stop here and say that Michael has not a sarcastic bone in his body thus does not do awful cartoons. One for Gus.

Michael’s radio show is Line of Fire, the title of which means bugger all… unless you’re a soldier, Christian or not, about to get killed on a battlefield, because this is our perverse twist of not having a cockroach upright philosophy.

We muck up something by invading someone’s turf and then we devote time and energy to salvage what we’ve mucked up. It gives us something to do. We thus extort our various fairily referenced tales written in Arabic, Hebrew, Hindi, Urdu, Persian, Greek, Latin, Turkish, Swahili, Wolof, Zulu and Yoruba, plus Armenian, Sanskrit, Tamil and Ottoman literature, to tell those we’ve mucked up that we’re going to save them from misery on this planet by promising them a life of golden moments in another life, beyond death — which our armies of righteous soldiers have occasioned by plunging some steel in their heart... or bombed from a nearer to god 30,000 feet. A feat.

So Michael Brown tells us unashamedly that he prefers the Republican Party platform to the Democratic Party platform. "Hands down", he chuffs and adds he is a moral conservative when it comes to social issues like abortion, homosexuality, gender distinctions, and the meaning of marriage. Demographically, he fits right in with the “older white male Republican” crowd. Gus fits in with the cockroaches…

But Michael soon whitewashes his “old white male” birthright stain by telling us this is not his personal identity, which really flows from his relationship with the Lord and is fueled by His calling and His Word. 

Bother… Bugger… Bumper… Blistering blinkered blimps!... The guy has a solid relationship with the god delusion!

How can one lampoon someone who is living on another planet where happy cockroaches have been eliminated for good or bad? How can we pull the ears of someone who’s going to say more stupid things that don’t make any sense, like:

Put another way, I do not long to uphold the status quo of America. To the contrary, everything in me challenges the status quo when the status quo challenges godly values and godly ways.

I am a revolutionary at heart, and I burn to see radical change come, both to America and to the nations.

What is the “status quo” in Amerika? Has the “status quo” vanished because the “old white male Christian” status quo has gone to the dogs because more people have grown up to accept other people’s complex differences as they are, rather than what we want them to be, simplistically fitting an idea that fuels our own inadequacies? And how much big boots (ego) do we need to preach other people about the life of Brian?

When was the last time you saw a “revolution” coming from the conservative right? Or coming from the religious maddening masses? Never. Not in the last million years (6,000 years should you be a rabid cretinistic creationist). Revolutions always come from the left, the workers, the exploited, the commies and the pitchforked peasants: the yet uneducated in the art of complex deceit — those who don’t like being preached to, while being praised for their submissiveness, their poverty and their slavery.

The conservative right? The “old white males” of the religious nuteries? Wow. They’re the ones, the white Yankee Christians, who regularly organise overseas overthrows to change perfectly good local government with rabid “old white male Christian” despots, don’t they?. Military coups always come from the neo-Nazi religious right-wings, often following or implementing zealot missionaries to maintain the new dictatorial “status quo”… A revolutionary? Michael Brown? Are you taking us for fools? Ah, I see. Yes. You’re mixing your Rs… Reactionary is what you are…

And you are committed to do some “good deeds”… So am I... So are we… So you tell us without flinching that:

That’s why graduates from our school of ministry (who share my heart and the heart of our faculty) are involved with social transformation wherever they go around the globe.

Going proselytizing around the globe? Do some “other” cultures need to be turned into a Yamerika sub-dominion by your school of “ministry”?… Are we still in the old days of “missionaries” in bed with the armies of the empires? Sure… Social transformations? Does this mean teaching the religious acceptance of Mac-Coke for these worlds — preached with despotic free trade robbery and furious capitalism that treat equality of being a happy cockroach as something to loath and destroy? Is it because a happy human that is not a religiously indoctrinated isn’t a happy human?

They are combatting human trafficking and rehabilitating the victims they rescue.

They are adopting orphans and feeding the poor.

They are reaching out to prostitutes and offering them a fresh start.

They are working behind the scenes to rebuild educational systems in war-torn countries.

Good intentions don’t need religious indoctrination to be performed “behind the scene”… War-torn countries? Do you mean America, which does the core of much “war-torning” with its emporium armies is on the front stage and behind the scene as well? America where some poverty is latent, where prostitution is a healthy money-spinner, where the simmer of revolt amongst the poor, robbed by the rich, has been extinguished by a despair that cannot fight back for being too deep?

So your first duty SHOULD BE to tell your conservative (and their “liberal” actionaries for that matter) to STOP warring in other countries… This would minimise your having to go and rescue the poor, the prostitutes, the victims and the orphans, somewhere else… The list of US destruction under some “god bless America” religious instruction is long and getting longer. And I believe that you cannot go in places like Yemen because blah blah blah...

They [graduates] are on the front lines of the pro-life movement, giving hope to prospective mothers and fathers and welcoming new babies into the world.

They are standing for sexual purity and providing tools to help overcome pornography.

Oh… I must stop you here… so far your elected Trump, LIKE HIS PREDECESSOR, your chosen lord and savior is helping the Saudis kill babies in Yemen — or to put in another way “to get babies out of this world” because his friend, your friend thus, sells oil and buys your weapons… Yes I know… It’s complicated. And the Yemenis, the Houthis don’t believe in your own god, so there. Bomb, baby, bomb…

Your sexual “purity” has nothing to do with being godly, but making sure you don’t catch the clap by accident or create another unwanted human being, adding to the too many billions that are now mucking up “our” planet. All this purity does, is give you pimples, frustration and the high delusion to choose the best subservient partner for life. Your program is an advertising piece of ultra-CONservative dudes — not that of revolutionaries… Is your revolution a figurative return to times of never been, using words instead of guns? You’re an old white conservative reactionary, Michael…

They are setting godly examples in their homes and instilling their values into their children, who are also being trained to swim against the tide and go against the grain.

Swimming against the tide? The tide of what? The grain of what? Modernity? Trying to stop the abandonment of beliefs in old tired religious dictums that do not make sense, like Noah’s Ark — this moment in imagined times when a vengeful narcissistic god destroyed his own creation because his creatures didn’t adore him anymore? Crap…

They are renouncing worldliness and narcissism and pointing to what really matters in life.

Which is? There is no bigger narcissism than the belief “we’re children of god” even if we humbly believe we don’t deserve this title because of our original sin that is no more than not being happy cockroaches… Isn’t god the most narcissistic creature humans dared to invent as a mirror to our hypocrisy?

And they are looking back to the Scriptures to find out what it means to be the Church rather than simply go to Church.

This is lovely super-super-glib… This simplistic flycatcher goes back to the 1960s, when the Catholic Church was trying to retain the young kids on their naked romping ways to Woodstock… “We only spend your parents’ cash to make huge buildings but in reality you are the important stuff we need to get more cash in the future to build bigger and better centers of worship”. And you should see the maintenance bills that we get the state to pay under old heritage policies…

All this means that, as much as I strongly reject the teachings of “progressive Christianity,” I can relate to its concerns with status quo orthodoxy, an orthodoxy that often becomes stale, stiff, and sanitized, not to mention hypocritical and impersonal.

Biblical orthodoxy, when lived out, is vibrant, transformative, challenging, life-giving, edgy, and quite revolutionary.

The glibologist Michael brown enters the stage in his orthopedic orthodoxical sandals of reactionary plastic… Biblical orthodoxy versus progressive Christianity? What’s this? A World Wrestling contest between the stale, stiff, and sanitized, not to mention hypocritical reactionary past VERSUS the revolutionary progressive passionate Christianity that accepts homosexuals and women as church leaders, which you don’t?

That’s why, as much as I abhor the tactics of the far left and wholeheartedly dismiss its ideology, I can relate to the intensity of the misguided passion.

Our society does need justice. Our nation does need radical change. Our nation does need a major overhaul – but from above, not from the left (or, for that matter, from the right).

It is true that I voted for Donald Trump, and, as I’ve said many times since 2016, I’m glad I did. But I’ve said many more times that my hope is not in the president, even less in his party, and even less in politics in general. My hope is in the Lord.

And it’s true that many of my friends are older, white evangelicals. But it’s also true that most of them are racially diverse in their ministries and that for them, it is not “America first” as much as the “Great Commission first.”

That’s why I’ve spent years of my life taking the gospel to the nations (to date, about 200 trips outside the United States to more than 30 countries). 

200 trips overseas? Have you looked at your carbon footprint lately?

As we often say in my community of believers, “On with the revolution!”

Reactionary is the word, Michael…. REACTIONARY, Not revolutionary… REACTIONARY means your wish for a return to the old ways and the old beliefs with Christian white picket fences and the yuletide. You believe in fairies for hope, like all the other religious people on this planet who have not understood one bit about the reality of our animalistic origins, in evolution. I know it’s a hard one to fathom and make sense especially when trying to be “moralistic” about it.

 But some people don’t like it when you come with your bunch of “Jesus loves you” when all they want to do is be what they have achieved, whether you like it or not. Missionary? Bugger off… You catch a few gullible dudes but some people resent your intrusion in their life, while you are also powered by the baron robbers, the capitalists, namely the “older white male Republican” mixed with the “young white/black male/female Democrats”, whether you deny it or not. No revolution there… REACTIONISM it is.

"We recently learned from an unconfirmed report that John Allen Chua was reportedly killed in India while reaching out to members of the Sentinelese Tribe," it says.

"Words can't express the sadness we have experienced about this report.

"… he was a Christian missionary, a wilderness EMT, an international soccer coach and a mountaineer.

 "He loved God, helping those in need and had nothing but love for the Sentinelese people.

"We forgive those reportedly responsible for his death. 

"He ventured out on his own free will and his local contacts need not be persecuted for his own actions.

Obviously, some Sentinelese people did not like someone like him coming with his arsenal of beliefs, trying to tell them about what they didn’t want to know. His “ways” might have upset some local hierarchy that did not need being “educationed” in a new way which in all respect, was totally irrelevant to these people. The only relevance of such proselytising is cultivated in the self-fucked-up head of the missionaries. It’s as simple as that.

Revolutionary? You’re a completely deluded dude, Michael Brown… I really don’t mind what you believe, but leave other people alone and the cockroaches like me will leave you alone.