Thursday 2nd of May 2024
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trying to sit on too many chairs with a narrow bum...

a narrow bum

JUST ABOUT the last thing Malcolm Turnbull did before leaving Australia last week was to inveigh against his colleagues' navel gazing.

The public was not interested in politicians talking about themselves, the Prime Minister declared.

And having cleared that up, he went off to give a major speech that produced headlines blazoning an agenda apparently designed to bore the public rigid.

Most of it was the usual stuff: fight terrorism, secure borders, more free trade — more freedom generally, as long as we don’t talk about specific policies which might be mildly embarrassing. But in the middle of this jollity, our prime minister detonated a landmine: the Liberal Party of Australia was not a conservative party.

 

He quickly doubled back on that proclaiming yet again, that the party was a "broad church", but the damage was done. Making this the centrepiece of the speech (as he must have known it would be) was obviously perverse, but the context was frankly bizarre: Turnbull was speaking to accept the Disraeli prize at a gala dinner hosted the British Tory Policy Exchange think tank in London, half a world away.

If he was to issue the sort of ideological challenge he clearly intended, surely it would have been more sensible to do so at home. After all, he had only just addressed the schism-riven New South Wales party conference — an ideal venue for a barney. Admittedly, if he had thrown down the gauntlet in Sydney he would probably have been attacked with chairs from half the delegates, but it would have been a more courageous stance.

As it was, he has been accused of hiding as well as provocation. Perhaps he thought the distance would protect him, but more likely he was relying on the thought of Chairman Menzies, the infallible doctrine could not be gainsaid and Menzies once said that he had deliberately picked the name of Liberal rather than Conservative to keep its platform inclusive — even a touch progressive.

Well, maybe he did, but Menzies said a lot of things and, as Tony Abbott and many others know, the devil may cite scripture for his purpose. In nanoseconds, the airwaves were filled with furious reactionaries from NewsCorp and Foxtel insisting that the great man had been verballed and traduced; their Knight of the Thistle, the Warden of the Cinq Ports had never entertained a progressive thought in his life. Liberal was spelled with a big "L", not a little "l" and if Turnbull didn’t like it they would find a leader who did. Cory Bernardi and Pauline Hanson instantly offered to fill the gap. Turnbull, once again, had revealed himself a traitor to the cause and an apostate against the one true dogma.

read more:

https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/mungo-maccall...

 

 

damnation with one notion...

one notion

meanwhile the press is still depressing......

 

 

the merde-och spin and the SMH mind...

 

the dollipotts...

 

the insensitive nonsensical centre....

While the Doc is on holidays we are delighted to introduce a new voice to IA, Sensei Bill, our spy inside the Sensible Centre™. This week, Bill has sent us a draft newsletter that is due to go out tomorrow to all its members.

[Note to boss: Sir, this is a DRAFT ONLY. I have been careful not to use the word FUCK, instead coding it to f**k so as not to offend anyone. Feel free to send corrections and suggestions. Note the deadline for changes is COB today.]

Good morning boys and girls!

You are boys and girls, right? As you know, the Sensible Centre™ has a “boys and girls only” policy so, please, if you are one of those confused “Alphabet Children”, close your browser now or go here. Remember, help is only a click away.

You see, it is only fair that supporters of the Sensible Centre™ have their own safe place. We know how precious each and every snowflake is to their mummy and their daddy. You do have both a mummy and a daddy, right? If not, please close your browser NOW and go HERE. Someone will always be available to console the afflicted.

The Sensible Centre™ is inclusive and welcomes everybody from the Cory Bernardi faction, Pauline Hanson’s One Notion, Shelton Lyle’s Christian cult, Liberal Party members from Tony Abbott’s electorate, secret donors to the Institute of Public Affairs and all True Blue patriots. If you are not included in this list of inclusion, please CLOSE THE F**KING BROWSER AND GO HERE. You can’t help the tint of your skin tone, but it’s nice to be white on the inside.

We even appreciate the support given to us by friends of the Prime Minister. In fact, once we showed him the pictures, Malcolm was delighted to become our interim patron saint. He will hold that position until we can whitewash Sinister Mutton and he will then take the esteemed title of Potatohead-in-chief.

We are externally grateful to Ms Albrechtsen for penning a most glorious speech on behalf of the incoming Potatohead. She has captured his zeitgeist in the most appalling appealing way.

Thankfully, you can read the speech in-full by clicking on Mr Kenny Devine’s helpful tweet and don’t have to attempt a breach of Mr Murdoch’s fully-functioning paywall:

Suffering from cringe-deficiency?
Looking for a cure?
Read this weird speech Janet Albrechtsen has penned for Peter Dutton.

You're welcome. pic.twitter.com/ECHyculNCm

— Kenny Devine (@TheKennyDevine) July 22, 2017A week of highlights and lowlifes

There is never a dull moment for the dedicated staff of the Sensible Centre™. Our team works day and night to ensure that only the good news is on the front page and that our mistakes, secret deals and shady transactions are buried up close to the sport news. We like our news clean and tidy, and try to keep all the embarrassments, like Bananaby, out of harm’s way. But sometimes we trip up, like we did this week with Minister Senator Caravan’s citizenship status.

read more:

https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/news-from-the...