Monday 13th of July 2020

Richard Tonkin's blog

Lock Downtime

"The situation's getting grim"
said ScoMo on the telly
"I need to go away and trim
my growing COVID belly
I'm heading down to Melbourne
to get some Lock Down Time
I'm not some privileged

Deja Loo

Saturday night I hung my head in shame
Society, I told myself, has just itself to blame
To have it happen now is worse than when it happened then

Pub With No Beer 2020

It's lonesome away from your pint of pale ale
The South Aussie Government's new Epic Fail
is hotels to serve you schnitties with cheer
but a parmi's no fun in a pub with no beer
The bottle shop's open, and we reckon that's beaut
we take our booze home and get pissed as a newt
But

Dont Worry Be Appy

Here's a little song I stole
when in lockdown on the dole
Don't Worry, Be Appy
Download software to your phone
Y

The Walking Dream

It's Monday of Week Two
of the Walking Dream
When you wake up
you're still inside it
Sitting on the loo
counting your rolls
It's reality
your mind's denied it

Five At A Wedding

FiveFive Five at a wedding, Ten at a Funeral
Gathering in public is gone
A very different way of life
we're living from here on
Go a

The Time Of Your Wife

As I roved out on a Monday Night
a-running from my wife
I tried to find a place to hide
and not get into strife
but Adelaide on Monday Night
has only bars with pokies
or, if you're really lucky
quiz nights and karaokes

Dancing the Schadenfreude Waltz

I've thought up a point of view
I've found a headline of proof
All that's needed, isn't it?
Never mind the truth
I read it on the internet
made me want to cry
Doesn't really matter
who wrote

Dancing the Schadenfreude Waltz

I've thought up a point of view
I've found a headline of proof
All that's needed, isn't it?
Never mind the truth
I read it on the internet
made me want to cry

Running With The Sheep

Some people pray
that death is a cabaret
Other folks reckon
that life is an abattoir
On the same bus
we ride without reason
running with the sheep
wishing on a star

CH: Running with the sheep
searching together
hoping to find
sunnier weather
Running with the sheep
wishing on a star
A door's not a door
when it's still ajar

Bye Bye Bridget

Pack up all my bats and balls
Conflict of disclosure calls
Bye bye Bridget
ScoMo's not a happy chap
doesn't like this kind of crap

The Woolworths Warrior

His shirt is pressed-and-crispy white
his back is straight, his spinchter tight
He marches the length of his domain
from Aldi to Woolies and back again

If felons come, he'll catch them all
with luck, some terrorists might call
Battle plans and gunfire sound in his brain
from Aldi to Woolies and back again

He didn't make the Army, couldn't be a cop
so here his wartime career will stop
Waiting to be wanted, he marches in vain
from Aldi to Woolies and back again

Substantiation

Twenty Twelve came and went
Talk of Armageddon
little more than grump
Twenty Twenty comes to hand
Our PM's Pentecostal

True Blue Hawaii

The sky is blue in Blue Hawaii
not smokey brown from fires like in Sydney
Dreams come true in Blue Hawaii
there's no Climate Change on my hotel TV

Don't follow me, as I run away across the sea
to shelter 'neath the US Presidency
PM Screwed By Blue Hawaii
that's how history will remember me

Where The Bloody Hell Are Ya, Scott?

Could I be the only one
that finds our PM strange
in the manner that he dodges any
talk of Climate Change?
Across near half Australia

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