Catholic Cardinals Stunned
The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.
Cardinal Mohoney, the Vatican spokesperson had this to say: "We in the conclave are all shocked. We cast our votes using these new electronic voting machines. The results overwhelmingly favoured George W. Bush over all the Catholic candidates. The last Pope, John Paul, was a superb linguist, fluently speaking 11 languages: this one can't speak fluently in one language. We just don't know what to say."
Pope George Dubya
Who else but George W "my god is bigger than your god" Bush could be elected the new Pope?
Dubya has already performed several miracles. He has managed to win two presidential elections with his miraculous counting machines and he has learned how to "distil" democracy and turn it into a solid material suitable for the making of bullets and bombs.
God's chosen warrior has used these DDM's (depleted democracy munitions) to "liberate" over 100,000 iraqi men, women and children. They would thank him from the bottom of their hearts, if they hadn't had the temerity to die during the process.
What the heck! Let's not just make George Pope, let's canonise him as well! Does anyone know what calibre he is?
God's spyware went down
From the BBC
Virus program incurs church wrath
Vicars in the UK are up in arms after parts of a program they use to organise church services were branded spyware.
Many users of the Visual Liturgy software rendered the program useless after deleting a file wrongly identified as spyware.
The creators of Visual Liturgy criticised anti-virus firm Symantec for the time it took to fix the bug.
Symantec said the mistake had been fixed and users could avoid the problem by updating their anti-virus software.
Unholy row
The row between Symantec and Church House Publishing, the creator of Visual Liturgy, blew up on 8 July following an update to the Norton anti-virus software.
More than 4,500 Church of England parishes rely on Visual Liturgy to help them plan and prepare church services.
As Christians, we're used to not always getting answers to our prayers immediately, but this seemed to take the biscuit
The update identified a file called vlutils.dll as being part of a keylogging program called SniperSpy. In fact the file was an integral part of Visual Liturgy. Many people who reacted to the warning by deleting the files crippled the program.
As a result Church House Publishing was inundated with calls from users trying to find out why the software had stopped working.
In a statement, Church House Publishing said it reported the mistake to Symantec on 10 July and then made repeated attempts to get the problem corrected.
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Gus: not an important snippet of news in this topsy-turvy world of hypocrisy loaded bombs and bullets, but something that made me laugh... and ponder about the relentless indoctrination in whatever form we are subjected to, during all our life... and no real proper tools to fend against it, except our cynicism, ear plugs or faulty antivirus programs, sadly.