I agree with Sophoclestos, the ancient local Greek thinker of Coffeeshopia (in Newtownia) that the word "philosophy" is a big word to use to describe the ugly totally unliberal (grand CONservative detritusonia) behaviour of the Abbott regime — but I cannot escape that con-artistry, obfuscation, lying with grand hypocrisy, "liberally" pissing-on-people and other such nasty traits still make a low grade "philosophication" of selected viciousness which is to kick the poor to enrich the rich at whatever cost, including stealing from the rich... Makes idiotic sense? Sure. That's Tony Abbott's regime... That is the Liberal (CONservative) philosophication of contradictory governmental bastardry.

As Tony Abbott is about to add a promised large wad more of broken "promises" from his electional white lies song book, three-words slogans and flying pigs onto his crappy painful budgetarium, than there are of white cockatoos in a breeding colony on an outback dead coolibah, on the edge of a cocky-farmer's wheat paddock — making it difficult to know which ones to shoot first — it's time to revisit the tenets of Liberal (CONservative) philosodefecation... 

 

 

SO, WHAT ARE THE TENETS OF BEING A LIBERAL?

1. Opposition to Labor.

Labor is bad. 
Labor is in bed with the unions and unions are bad. They demand better working conditions for all workers, including the illegal ones we, Liberal bosses, use on the sly... The socialist union mugs! As if we were made of honey! As if money grew on the work of workers, which it does but that beside the point. If there were no bosses with whips and sticks, workers would slack off... Workers would be poorer with nothing to do if we did not use them as slaves. Better conditions? Want a yacht in the Caribbeans as well? You're lucky to get food on the table. And when you get the sack, you don't deserve the dole... Money for doing nothing? you've got to be kidding!

(Extra Note: the ranks of workers in Australia have been decimated by the capitalistic flue — a disease propagated by the merde-cupia media in which most people innards get a fever about getting richer faster than the next bloke or sheila... This leads to the abandonment of solidarity and comradeship in favour of full-on narcissistic selfies in the reflection of fool's gold and painful kick up the arse by the ruling class. Unfortunately, some unions have been infected by the disease at the top)

2. Charity before social justice. 
Giving is good as long as it's tax deductible. Tax is not tax deductible... Charitable enterprises are good. They range from churches to medical supplies. All are designed to give that warm feeling of helping someone in need, as long as it's tax deductible and measured as not to impinge on the pocket money, stitched aside for those holidays in the Caribbeans. But charity should not help people help themselves too much, otherwise charity would tragically become obsolete... Mind you there is an endless supply of charitable causes to choose from.

3. Lower taxes, voluntary contribution or no tax if possible. 
Not giving (much) tax is good. Sharing equitably is bad. Taxes tend to slug the rich. Liberals are on the rich side of the fence, in general and get slugged... Hum... Tax deductions are good as they bring us rich people down to the same tax bracket level as the poor mugs who work their arse off. Anyway, tax should be replaced by charity — a measured discreet voluntary donation to Liberal mates, such as developers, entrepreneurs, those good people with the know how to build concrete roads and tall buildings with views, pushing the poor people — who are in the way of inevitable progress — out.

 

(Note: This has been superseded by "heavy lifting" using a nifty conjuring trick. The Abbott "Liberalus" regime removes a carbon "tax" (pricing) on the rich and replaces it with a "deficit levy" which of course would eventually return to the rich's pockets, via the corridors of currency manipulation and offshore accounting.)

5. Freedom. 

Freedom is to be ensnared by religious beliefs as long as these are Christian beliefs. Other beliefs might be tolerated but as long as they understand who's boss. Faith in the Christian god is good and gives the freedom to sin and be contrite, without the civil court bit —especially for priests. Freedom is highly valued and should be imposed on anyone who does not have the same rigourous ideal of freedom, unless they are powerful and have oil. These are our despotic Muslim friends. Saddam on the other hand was weak (that's why we lied he was strong, but we knew he was weak — otherwise we wouldn't have attacked him if he was strong) and had oil. A weak and poor country without freedom nor oil under a tyrant is basically uninteresting unless it can provide real estate for a military base... Thus the tyrant is pragmatically our friend because we need him to keep the restless natives from which we're acquiring the real estate, quiet or dead — which ever comes first. They would have died from malaria or from an unspeakable disease anyway. Some of us don't like bits of genitalia being cut of in the name of religious practice — not in this country anyway. Our friend the despots can do what they like though — including torture or kill the opposition — as long as we have the military base. We don't practice torture — unless we have to.
In this framework free enterprise is on a pedestal. Free enterprise means that one can sell snake oil as long as one can find customers for snake oil. Stealing is not recommended in the open especially since the Switzerland haven has become regulatory cumbersome. Competition is good as long as competitors can be shot down in a "friendly" way. Workers of course should not enjoy freedom otherwise they slack off. The Mafia is terrible especially when it competes on our exclusive turfs... Free market is good as long as customers pay for it...

 

6. War on everything that is not "liberal". 

 

Baddies versus baddies is bad... thus "we" have to be the goodies even if we're bad.

Biffo is good. War is brilliant. Peace tends to limit the scope of selling snake oil and other goods. War is excellent as it tends to demand replacement goods by the sheer nature of explosion and demolition of supplies. On another front, the liberal arts ended with Picasso, thank goodness. Art has nothing to do with philosophy. Art is the way to buy and sell exclusive masterpieces to other rich people who want what you have, for twice as much as you paid for, usually in the millions but they don't really care since they have twice as many millions. 

7. Money before equity. 
Greed is good. If the stock market and the money market are roaring along it's the Liberals' doing. If the stock market and the money market take the plunge it's Labor's fault. And this can be seen clearly by the way Labor handled the economy during the last financial crisis. Giving money to the people rather than to the banks stank of socialism! Let the market decide that the poor shall stay poor, unemployed and debt ridden, while the government coffers should be filling up with money gouged from the sweat and tears of the rest of the still-at-work flogged workers. Banks are good and should they become insolvent because of Liberal bosses bonuses, they should be propped up by government before the people (who should never be propped up). Any Labor projects that is 99 per cent successful shall be declared a failure. Any Liberal project that is 70 per cent a failure shall be deemed a success. 

8. Exploitation of resources. Plunder is good. Protection of the environment means chasing kangaroos and old people from golf courses.
The earth belongs to the humans "race" (meaning the white fellows). Contrary to scientific beliefs, humans are not a species but humans are the children of god (angels without wings) — a god who in his great wisdom gave the express order to breed and plunder as fast as possible the given goodies: the trees, the dirt, the minerals of the known universe — but especially, from this flat earth. Global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the communists to take over the world and stop us exploiting the cheap fuels... 99 per cent of the scientists are wrong. Our two shock-jocks such as Alan Jones and Andrew Bolt are totally right on this subject. God did not write anything about global warming in the bible, thus it does not exist.

9. Regal born to rule privilege. 
Royalty is good. Although there are some traitors in the Liberal ranks who believe a republic could be better than a Queen in another country ruling over us, they still believe that the Liberals should be in charge of the loot due to breeding privileges. Most Liberals are royalists though. Support for the Anglican Queen or the future King (a bit too greenie for comfort though) is the optimum of undivided loyalty. We love the crumbs, such as lordships and honour badges to be collected on the way to brown-nosing privileges for having given charitably to our mates the developers. Gold, god and the Queen give the Liberals the exclusive right to rule this country. 

10. Conservatives Never EVER compromise on anything, especially an ETS, or admit being wrong... Being wrong with elegant hypocrisy is an excellent way to be right. The freedom to be wrong is to be cherished, but the Liberals (hypocrites) are always right, even if we're wrong. Labor lefties (Commies) are always wrong, even if they are right.

 

Note: The Abbott regime has dismantled the philosophy department of the government to prove a point about its complete bastardry...

 

see also: typhoon tony confuses toilet day and philosophy day...

 

 

Episodes of the popular American legal drama usually end with the pair's "special time", smoking a cigar with a glass of Scotch in hand on the balcony of their law firm, ruminating over recent events.

Now, Channel Nine has caught on camera Treasurer Joe Hockey and his Finance Minister, Mathias Cormann, doing their own pre-budget mulling in the cold Canberra Autumn outside Parliament House.

Soon after the footage aired on on Friday, Twitter lit up with parodies, jokes, crudities, and criticisms.

"There's nothing like the satisfying flavour of other people's hopes & dreams going up in smoke," Jane Caro, author and social commentator, tweeted.

"Instant headline for tomorrow's broadsheets, "The Aust economy goes up in smoke!'" @AldemirSam said.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/treasurer-joe-hockey-and-finance-minister-mathias-cormann-pictured-smoking-cigars-ahead-of-tough-budget-20140509-zr8i3.html#ixzz31GVGFd3t

One has to understand the joke in the heading... Belgium is well known for its chocolates (so his Tony Detritus but this is beside the point). But Belgium is (was?) also known in Europe for its refined tobacco and low taxes (a long time ago?) on ciggies and cigars... So there. Cormann, your finance minister (not mine) is from Belgium...
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See also: drust me, I von let you down...

 

 

Keeping Labor out: does the Liberal party stand for anything else?

 

The Liberal party, formed in response to Labor, has always been a reluctant party. As they let business take over, it's becoming clear they're now reluctant about government itself

 

 

The Liberal party of Australia marks its 70th anniversary this year, by far the most enduring conservative party in the nation’s history and also the most successful. For 43 of those years it has held the reins of government in Canberra, and currently enjoys an almost complete domination of the political landscape, yet the Liberal party remains a curious beast: frustratingly elusive, little understood and not a little contradictory. It is emphatically not given to reflection, and certainly not to remorse.

 

It differs starkly in this regard from its principal foe, the Labor party, prone to a fault to navel gaze, over-analyse and second guess itself. But this difference is itself part of a strange but enduring paradox, and a kind of symbiosis: without a Labor party there would probably be no need for a Liberal party.

The first step in coming to grips with the Liberal party is to appreciate that it is a reluctant party, a party that would rather not have to exist.

Until the rupture of the 1890s, Australian politics was something of an amateur game, played hard but with no great issues at stake. The chaps who identified with the squatters and pastoral interests called themselves conservatives and the middle-class lawyers and traders from the cities thought of themselves as liberals. Mostly, they drank at the same clubs, salved their consciences at the same churches and frequented the same brothels.

It was all rather chummy until some liberals began to talk about democracy, and even worse, take it seriously. Some saw a commonality of interest with working men in opposing the influence of the conservatives, whose safe positions in the legislative councils, where a property qualification was needed to cast a vote, meant that they could exercise a powerful and frequent veto.

That, by and large, was the story until 1890, when bitter strikes and their savage repression – led, incidentally, by liberals such as Alfred Deakin – showed the superficiality of the liberal-worker alliance. When push came to shove, the liberals and the conservatives were one as defenders of capital. So the Labor party was born, and soon won the balance of power in the New South Wales legislative assembly.

read more: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/13/keeping-labor-out-does-the-liberal-party-stand-for-anything-else

see also above: the philosophication of detritusonia...