To:                 President of Iran
From:            President of Amurrica
  
Mr Moo-uh Abba-dabba-jen,
  
After carefully listening to a one minute summary prepared by my staff of your
recent 18 page letter complaining about so-called wars of aggression by the US,
torture and one-sided blind support of Israel, I have decided to write a letter
back since -after all- I am the decider. 

You clearly do not understand democracy, which is why you are part of
the “Axis of Evil.” While you were elected president by a majority of your
people, I became president in the year 2000 with a minority of the vote. While
your latest election used paper ballots, which allow double checking of the
vote, I was elected in 2004 by electronic voting machines in all the key states
with no verifiable paper trail. Clearly our democracy is superior to your
so-called democracy.

I intend to use the utmost restraint when dealing with your country,
Iran. I will not take any rash actions. I will use the same deliberation and
careful judgment that I have used before. This is why I plan to hold a
prolonged conference with Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Richard Perle and the
CEO of Halliburton before deciding if an attack on Iran should take place this
summer or after the November election. 

Iran and all the other enemies of America will be brought down. In
fact, a new enemy of America has arisen. In addition to the evil-doers, there
are now evil-talkers. This is why I authorized electronic spying on the
communications of 200 million Americans.  

Since my approval rating has recently dropped to 29 percent Bush
Support Rating Falls To 29 percent: Poll, this means that 71 percent of
Americans are most probably evil-talkers, asking questions like: “Why were we
lied into the Iraq war? Why can’t we catch bin Laden? Why are we still in Iraq
even though we know now the invasion was a mistake?” We cannot tolerate
disloyalty like this if we are to remain a free nation. 

Dick Cheney has advised me to deal with this problem by shooting each
one of these people in the face.  

We must fight the evil-talkers who suggest a return to
isolationist-ism. We know the names of some of these terrorist sympathizers:
Thomas “Abu” Jefferson, George “Mahmoud” Washington and Patrick “Akhmed”
Buchanan. I plan to lock all of these men up in Guantanamo Bay and to discover
this “Constitution” that they keep citing for their Isolationist, evil-talker
philosophy and destroy it. 

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
President of the Free World 

meantime, in the world of fantasy ….. 

‘Well, unfortunately for those
members of the media elite who were making those inflammatory accusations, the
actual "confidential"
report has now been posted several places on the Internet. Those members
are now revealed to either have a reading comprehension problem or to have
deliberately misrepresented what ElBaradei actually reported. 

There is scarcely any difference
between this report and a dozen other reports ElBaradei has made over the past
three years, either in tone or substance.’ 

Media Liars On Iran 

whilst ….. 

‘The American secretary of state,
Condoleezza Rice, and her Russian counterpart, Sergei Lavrov, traded barbs
during bad-tempered talks at a foreign ministers' summit in New York on Iran's
nuclear programme. 

The exchanges provided a candid
introduction to diplomacy for Margaret Beckett, the new Foreign Secretary, who
attended the tetchy session at the end of her first full day in the job. The
row, which further undermines hopes of a diplomatic solution to the Iran
crisis, reflects deepening rifts between the United States and Russia. 

Tension surfaced at a private
meeting hosted by Ms Rice in the Waldorf Hotel for the Russian, British,
French, German and Chinese foreign ministers, and spilt over into a
much-delayed dinner.’ 

Russia
& US Trade Angry Words Over Iran At UN Dinner 

but then ….. 

‘The European
Union will support an Iranian nuclear program that cannot be
put to military use and will boost political and economic cooperation if Tehran
accepts international oversight, a top official said Monday. 

EU foreign ministers meeting
Monday considered a package of enhanced incentives to induce Tehran to stop
uranium enrichment, which many experts see as a first step toward producing
nuclear weapons. 

"We are prepared to work on
a cooperation package and support Iran's
development of a proliferation-proof civilian nuclear program," Austrian
Foreign Minister Ursula Plassnik, whose country holds the rotating EU
presidency, said after the meeting. 

She said the EU's new plan would
contain three elements - economic assistance, political cooperation, and
support for the civilian nuclear program.’ 

EU
Prepared To Back Civilian Iran Program