(With Apologies to AB Paterson) 

For years I brown-nosed bastards from the Centre to the Right,I fiddled with the numbers & I suck-holed day & night.

And when they wouldn't have me, waited for the next election,

And then I bitched so loudly I was given pre-selection. 

And now I make the bastards pay,

So if you need a deal

Remember who you're talking to,

Belinda f---ing Neal. 

If my soccer boot has hit some bitch & got her in the arse,

Well what the f---k could she expect just lying in the grass?

And then the bloody referee holds up a card of red

And gives me marching orders! Well, she wished that she was dead. 

I shoved my nose into her face,

You should have heard her squeal!

Do you know who you are dealing with?

Belinda f---ing Neal. 

I married Della Bosca though I felt a bit above him

And I beat him up occasionally to show him that I love him.

All in all it's worked-out well; he's like a railway buffer

And if I get a bit too loud, it's Iemma has to suffer. 

But the MC at the wedding breakfast

Made a blue for real -

She called me Mrs. Della B, when I'm

Belinda f---ing Neal. 

Now, that dinner by the waterside at Gosford (which I hate!)

The one they're now referring to as my Iguanagate.I didn't swear (I never do!),

I swear by all that's proper,

I never said I'd close them down or lean on a local copper. 

I only said, so nice & quiet

You could hear the church bells peal,

Do you know who you're dealing with?

Belinda f---ing Neal! 

But now it's all been squared away, the matter put to rest,

Della's apologised to himself; the thing he does the best.

"We're sorry, sir and madam, for the hell we've put you through,

And if you come to visit, there's a free meal here for you". 

His one mistake was stamping it

With his "Della Bosca" Seal.

I'm Belinda F---ing Neal!