I am same-sex attracted. We should all disclose sources of bias and potential conflicts of interest up front in a transparent manner. It's a shame so many politicians, commentators and members of the general public aren't called upon to disclose their bias before declaring what is good for hetero and homosexual members of society.

Instead, we are bombarded with arguments why same-sex-attracted people should not be able to marry (each other, mind you - nobody seems concerned that same-sex-attracted people might already be marrying members of the opposite sex) without any disclosure of personal bias. The key voice mostly missing from the broader public debate is that of same-sex-attracted people themselves. Let me add my perspective so at least one voice actually affected by the current law is heard.

Gay marriage is not and never should have been a political issue. It's a personal one. I've always felt different. I was routinely mistaken for a boy by emergency teachers at my school, much to the amusement of both the teachers and my classmates. I didn't find it amusing.

At 18, I tried to understand why all my (heterosexual) friends desperately wanted to pick up members of the opposite sex. I couldn't understand why it was so amazing, or something anybody really desired. I had several boyfriends during my first two years at uni and had trouble staying awake while in the bedroom.

Now I'm 32 and I feel so blessed to have had my eyes opened to the world of love, desire and attraction by my first same-sex kiss 13 years ago. Yet there's still something wrong with me - the government says so - as I can't get married. Julia Gillard has suggested Labor members will be allowed a conscience vote on the issue. This is not enough. I echo Senator Gavin Marshall (The Age, 16/11) in saying I expect a democratic government to reflect the wishes of the people, not just personal views of elected members.

Marriage is a rite of passage. Within the past six months, my younger sister has become engaged, my housemate's sister has become engaged, at least three work colleagues have been married and several more routinely discuss the details of their upcoming nuptials during their coffee break. These moments are bitter-sweet for me - I am able to participate in the discussion and share in the excitement while knowing it is not legal for me to have the same experience in this country, which I have loved my whole life. A woman's wedding day is said to be the best day of her life, yet this experience and joy are denied to me on the basis that I happen to be attracted to women.

I hear all kinds of things that are supposed to make me feel better, like the fact that lots of straight people choose not to get married. So what? At least they have a choice.

I grew up, much like every other girl in Western society, wanting to get married. I don't care about the opinions of straight people on the subject of same-sex marriage - straight people don't have a voice in this debate. Imagine how outraged straight people would feel if that last sentence was how I actually felt; if they were forbidden to have an opinion on same-sex-attracted marriage.

Nurses make lousy parents. So do teachers and police. I believe that their children grow up to be psychologically damaged because their parents do shift work and either have to deal with children all day at work or see some very upsetting, horrible situations as part of their daily work. Oh, I'm sorry, do I need to back up those statements with facts or evidence? No one else seems to need to justify their opinions on gay parenting and its effects on children.

Let's all be honest with ourselves: the real reason same-sex marriage is not legal in Australia is that we are a country of bigots who feel it is acceptable to discriminate against individuals because of their sexuality. There is no credible evidence that being same-sex attracted undermines the institution of marriage, affects the children of same-sex marriage or has any other effect on society whatsoever.

Those concerned for the children of same-sex-attracted people obviously don't care a hoot about the well-being of same-sex-attracted people. There is evidence that lesbian, gay and bisexual people are at least twice as likely to attempt suicide over their lives and have a higher risk of anxiety, depression and substance abuse, and I can tell you right now, my government telling me I'm not good enough to get married does not do one single thing to make me feel any better about the sexuality I was dealt.

If Adam marrying Eve in the Bible has anything at all to do with marriage only being possible between a man and a woman (as has actually been suggested to me), then I pray to God that nobody asks how Cain and Abel (Adam and Eve's sons) had daughters, because I'm not sure what would be legal then.

Here's a vision for the future: December 3 sees a bold, brave party making a democratic decision on marriage equality for the benefit of our nation and the gay and lesbian individuals in it, and having the vision to legislate to end discrimination against a section of our community.

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/the-straight-and-narrow-20111121-1nquq.html