This column can exclusively reveal why Theresa May failed to turn up for a series of interviews with the UK’s major broadcasters yesterday prompting an unprecedented joint formal complaint to Downing Street about the shameful lack of access and public scrutiny of her actions .

Mrs May was escorted to Birmingham Central Police Station in Snowhill Queensway and subjected to a stringent set of controlled drug tests after suspicions were raised by a couple of alert undercover officers that the PM, known for her ‘naughty’ anti-farmer tendency to run through fields of wheat may have been under the influence of illegal mind-altering substances passed to her via the Beluga Caviar she was tucking into at lunchtime. The ever-reliable investigative website Bellingcat issued conclusive proof within less than an hour of the news spreading that a highly decorated Russian spy, posing as a Caviar connoisseur, had actually laced her Beluga jar with the unknown substance. However, the drug tests proved inconclusive and Bellingcat was forced to issue a defiant climb down saying ‘there may not be any proof but according to our exhaustive research it was definitely the Russians wot done it’. 

READ MORE: UK Ministers Allegedly Want May Out After Brexit as PM Braces for Chequers Clash

A thorough internal investigation was immediately carried out by West Midlands Police, a completely new concept for that force, and the route of the false alarm was traced to DI Jock MacDonald who had only recently transferred to Birmingham from Govan CID in Glasgow, Scotland, 6 months ago. He had heard the PM say something which gave him probable cause to act. He noted it in his notebook for all to see. She had stated in public soon after lunch that she, quote; “looked forward to Conservative leader in Scotland, Ruth Aitken, becoming the First Minister of Scotland soon”. Jock couldn’t believe his ears. He had lived in Scotland for the previous 42 years. He knew how absolutely despised Margaret Thatcher was in Scotland and yet Ruth Aitken has never even managed to match her derisory vote percentage, despite the British Biased Corporation’s (BBC) manipulated narrative and constant promotion of Ruth through cosy chats that are presented as interviews. Anyone who thinks Ruth Aitken will ever become Scotland’s First Minister is plain daft or under the influence of mind altering drugs. Jock thought it was the latter. Hopefully the bold Theresa will appear today for the broadcast interviews she had to rubber ear yesterday and answer when she will put her robotic script and accompanying dancing to the side and admit she is in office but not in power.

The reality is UK incorporated is in a mess. Millions are desperately struggling to get by on low wages with real terms increases their lowest since WWII. Employment is less secure and more onerous with millions forced to cope with zero hour contracts and multiple jobs. The retirement age is being made higher while access to affordable child-care and decent housing is a constant challenge. The gap between rich and poor, high paid and low paid is now at unprecedented levels and amounts to obscene and unacceptable inequality. While the pay of top bosses increased by an incredible 11% last year ordinary workers’ pay didn’t even match inflation with average increases of only 1.7%. It would take an average worker 167 years to earn the annual median pay of a top 100 FTSE boss — up from 153 years in 2016. It is quite literally immoral. 

READ MORE: Conservative Lawmaker Calls for PM May's Resignation in Letter — Reports

While British Bosses benefit from top rate tax cuts British poor people are subjected to welfare cuts like the Bedroom Tax. Local Government services like elderly care and community care for the disabled and mental health sufferers are cut to the bone while classroom sizes rise and school budgets fall cutting educational opportunities for working class kids. That’s why it makes me sick to witness adults at the Tory Party conference fawning over and cheering privileged plonkers like Jason-Rees Mogg and Boris ‘buffoon’ Johnson. What planet do these people inhabit? These posh boys couldn’t give a damn about ordinary workers. They think they are better than the working classes because they were born into wealth and haven’t had to struggle a day in their lives. Malevolent May heads up this band of robbers for the time being but her authority is almost non-existent. She and her Scottish lieutenant are ruthless in their desire to create a society where big business can do as it pleases and the rich accumulate even more wealth and power. Some suggest there is such a thing as a ‘good’ Tory but my life experience teaches me that is rare breed. I’m with the late and great Scottish author, Ian Banks;

"I’m not arguing there are no decent people in the Tory party but they're like sweetcorn in a turd; technically they kept their integrity but they’re still embedded in shit."

All of which leads me to my appeal to Scotland’s actual First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon, as we approach what will be a massive demonstration for Scottish independence in Edinburgh on Saturday organised by the grassroots All Under One Banner group. 

I have not yet mentioned Brexit, the issue which dominates British politics right now and exposes the deep divisions within the ruling class and the Tory party about Britain’s future. There is a solid and rational left-wing case for Brexit based on the undemocratic and brutally neo-liberal nature of the European Union. It has nothing to do with immigrants or mythical banana shapes and everything to do with the usurping of sovereign power by faceless bureaucrats intent in imposing free market economics down the throats of all EU nations. 

Read more:

https://sputniknews.com/columnists/201810031068550679-brexit-means-exit-...

See also:

http://www.yourdemocracy.net.au/drupal/node/26134